Saturday, September 23, 2006

The Stupidty Chronicles: Volume 1, Chapter 2

According to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, the definition of stupidity is:

Main Entry: stu·pid·i·ty
Pronunciation: stu-'pi-d&-tE, styu-
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -ties
1: the quality or state of being stupid
2: a stupid idea or act

This can manifest itself in various guises, all of which are well known to all people living. Gangstas are notoriously stupid in their attempts to go against all that is considered decent and just plain fucking common sense. In addition, a sign of stupidity can be low grades (only funny if your report card says “DDD”) or senseless acts of reckless physical endangerment, which defies any real definition. Most of my friends at GR know of the Fat Ninja diving at another person’s car. Today’s act has a similar nature to the Ninja’s, in that there is no real discernible reason except that he just felt like it.

This chapter of the Chronicles is different from the last one because it is a secondhand account and it is four years old. Many of the people who are going to read this do not know this subject but I assure you that it is perfectly true. He is just this nuts/stupid.

Welcome to THE STUPIDITY CHRONICLES VOLUME 1: CHAPTER 2, ROOFS

Back in the school year of 2002-03, my friend, Chris Y., was hanging around the front of Landstown High School with his older brother and his brother’s friends. Chris, at this point, was a freshman while his brother and friends were seniors.

After a robotics meeting, his brother and that group were screwing around with some girl’s bouncy ball. One of the friends, a person named Jeff, bounced the ball high enough that it landed on Landstown’s roof.

The owner of the ball was sad, as that was her favorite ball. Now, Chris decides to retrieve her ball for her, partly just to impress her.

He ends up climbing one of the pillars in the senior courtyard up onto the roof. While he is looking for the ball, someone in the group says, “Dude, Francis, where’s your brother?"

While the group is looking around for him, Chris calls down and scares the shit out of everyone. After telling them how he got up there, everyone is telling Francis to get him down.

He does not want to come down yet, as he has not fulfilled his original purpose in getting Lindsey’s ball. However, she tells him that it is fine and to just come down.

While they try to figure out how to get him down, he gets the brilliant idea to take a leap off the roof. While I do not know if it is one story up or two, I do not believe either is very good for you. Anyway, he leaped off the edge of the roof and hung there for what felt to him like ten seconds before hitting the ground and falling on his side. Surprisingly, he had no serious injuries.

Now, this is the same guy who tried to jump a fence while wearing a backpack and carrying two cups in his hands so he is prone to random acts for no real purpose.

This account violates Rules # 1 and 2 as I was not present for the event and the act is par for the course with him.

This chapter is approved by C. Yacineillo (How do you spell your name?)