The Stupidty Chronicles: Volume 1, Chapter 1

Now, in this world, there are many morons. Then, there are supreme morons. Now, in some cases, people feel sorry for them and try to help them. In others, people laugh heartily at their plight. In the case described below, I happen to fall into both camps. As you read, you should try to figure out what camp you are in.

Today has been somewhat eventful, I would say. Started out, I had a job interview to take of. I went in, took care of it.

But afterwards, it took a turn for the pathetically hilarious. Now, I will tell you right now, that I feel sorry for the moron in question. You see, in this particular case, I am quite conflicted. I do feel sorry for the idiot but, at the same time, it is quite funny.

It starts out, Cyrano's mother demaned that he buy a new wallet to replace the one he uses, which he bought back in his 9th grade year. Which brings you to the heart of:

THE STUPIDITY CHRONICLES VOLUME 1: CHAPTER 1, WALLETS

Cyrano went into Spencers to buy a wallet, after being unable to find one he liked at Hot Topic. So he goes in, looks at an ICP wallet, puts it back and gets a completely different wallet.

We get back to his house and hang out for a while. After that, I start on my way home. It is about 6.30 to 6.45 by now. However, partway home, I get a call from Cyrano. He needs my help back at his house.

When I get there, I find out that he is a moron. It turns out that when he looked at the ICP wallet, or sometime before, he put his ID and health insurance card in the wallet he was planning to buy and then changed his mind. He walked away, leaving his cards in the unpurchased wallet!

Now, it has hit seven. He hopes to get to the mall and see if he can track it down before his mother gets home. So, he goes to write a note explaining his stupidity, we start to head out the door and what happens? His mother and sister drive up.

So, we sit there, listening to his family make jokes about his intelligence for a bit then head to the mall.

About the only thing we accomplished was giving a couple of clerks at Spencers and Hot Topic a new experience. They didnt want to take us seriously at first but they quickly realized, we were in fact quite serious, no matter how hard I was laughing. We spent some more time hunting through wallets. In the end, throughout the entire day, Skittlez had been in Spencers 6 times, while I was at 7.

Finally, we left the mall at 8 and got home. On the way to his house, he decides to call Sam because he is quite sure that he will be dead by morning. So, they talk. She scolds his stupidity. He walks into a tree and gets a branch in the eye. He doesnt care anymore.

Crossing the street, he nearly gets hit by a truck. He thinks that this would be a good thing as he will not have to think about this little wallet mishap. Wrong! His health insurance card is in the renegade wallet. And it turns out that he has a doctors appointment tomorrow, where he will need the missing health insurance card.

If he is still alive tomorrow, he is going in for a new ID. His family does not know about the health insurance card. He plans to never be sick or injured.

I am posting this at his request because he does not like writing about his own stupidity. If anyone sees his missing cards, please give them to me so I can pass them along.

And, Cyrano, at Nekocon, I am not responsible for anything you misplace. You lose it, your fault.
This chapter has been approved by C. Moore and H. Hall

written: August 21, 2006